Perspective

So I thought I'd share some of the more funny or interesting ramblings of my life with the public. Why not? It's not like I'm sharing my sex tapes...if I had sex tapes though who knows, maybe I would share those too?

So it was my Birthday the other day. Birthday's are really only fun from like ages 2-12. Maybe thirteen or fourteen if you're a late bloomer. Birthday's and Christmas were like magic fun filled days of, what am I going to get this year anticipation. But once you get older you know what you are going to get. Clothes and/or money. Don't get me wrong, I love getting those things now. But when you are a kid money was something your parents made you put in the bank, and you couldn't play with clothes. Those new toys were the best thing for about a week unless you broke them sooner than that. Then you tried to find a way to justify why it was better broken but deep down you knew that it was all crap and you would take a new one any day of the week.

This year my little Brother is off fighting the war in Iraq. We were chatting online the day before my birthday and he types, "Oh, my facebook says it's your Birthday so Happy Birthday." and I was like, "thanks, but it is really tomorrow." To which he replies, "it is tomorrow here"

That kind of blew my mind. Is that a valid happy birthday? Even though I was not yet a year older from my perspective, from his perspective I was. Does one have to actually be a year older for a valid happy birthday, or does someone just have to be far enough in the future via time zone to make it a valid one? What kind of twisted zen puzzle is this?

So now I'm thinking about ways in which perspective fucks with everyone and everything. From my perspective, hamburgers are awesome. But I know a few cows who beg to differ. Perspective on this issue fucked with some people so much we call them crazy....they call themselves PETA.

Kids can make you change your perspective too. When your single and living the good life nothing much matters except where should I go eat, who has some beer for me, and which girl is going to come over tonight. Then you get one of those girls pregnant and everything changes. Then you think things like well, if I marry her and kill her how much money would I get from the insurance company? How would I pull it off so I actually got to keep the money? Ahh, so many have tried and failed before me. No really, you don't think that. That is crazy talk. But you do start to think about your mortality. Having a cute little baby depending on you for everything from food to wiping its ass is eye opening. Your new perspective becomes for the next 18 years minimum I'm going to be a broke dick no life having fool. Until your perspective changes again and you realize having a kid is great and life changing in so many ways. I just added that last part so girls would think I was sensitive...

Age is something else that perspective likes to screw with you about. When you're a teenager you know everything and all adults are stupid. You try to get away with shit because you think your old foolish parents were never once cool and tried to get away with shit when they were all knowing teens. Then those teens get older, have a kid and realize for the next 18 years minimum they will be poor, no life having fools who suddenly think watching jeopardy is great fun instead of slamming some beers at the pub. But that is something age and kids have in common. They sneak up on you and suddenly you are wearing black socks with shorts and thinking nothing of it.

Another funny thing about age and perspective is this. Well at least for males. As we get older our taste in women stays the same. The only problem is the girls we find attractive stay the same age as we increase in ours. Dazed and Confused had it right on. Gotta love them high school girls, I keep getting older, they stay the same age. HOWEVER, their is a cutoff to this. At one point you stop being the sexy older guy and become the dirty old man. My Brother Mike states this magic unspoken age is 29. Once you leave that age you become "old" to all girls below the age of 22. And if you do hit on those girls you become the "dirty old man" to them and their friends. But the "dirty old man" does not see it that way. He is still the cool jock that all women want. Then he one day has kids and realizes for the next 18 years...........